It was on third day raya when i decided to ease my curiosity. My long-time curiosity which i kept till my last day there. 
So when i finally managed to ask, and knew the truth, the feeling was indescribable. Lost. Dark. Suffocated. That was the first time i don’t feel hungry when nothing went inside ( a good sign too, haha).  I rather be scolded by Dato’ J thousands times rather than this.

But surely i’m proud of myself for handling it well. The first time was always the hardest. (Although im hoping for no second or next time). But i believe, everything is in His hands. There must be a reason. 

Must be one.
At least one.
And deep inside, i’m still hoping silently.

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