My Endless Love

I was once thought the happiest moment in life is when you get all you want. What ever it is.But the moment i went through the most horrible experience in my life, loosing abh in front of my eyes, trying hard to get him revive, being told that my abh was gone forever, the ache is still there. Always.


Since then, i never go nor passing by at the redzone. Since my o&g posting until my paeds posting.

I still remember that day around 1-2 o’clock in the morning when everything changed my world completely.

My abh passed away in resus, with me still in my scrub after attending delivery. 

I still remember that night when the resus Mo attending my abh, talked to me like i was the strongest person on earth, saying that i should be the one who understand the most regarding the condition, the fact that my abh could not survive.

I still remember that night when i no longer care about my collegues nor other doctors in ED hearing my screaming behind the curtain.

Calling my abh.

Again and again.


You are wrong.

Maybe my face looked calm.

But i’m not.

I still remember the whole event in my memory.

I still remember every single of it.


My endless love, abh.


Happy wedding anniversary.

And this year, no more wishes to ma.

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